This Is How We Do It...

THIS is how you dress for the courthouse, ladies.

Black Lane Bryant pants, black Walmart vneck tshirt, charcoal grey forties style sweater, also from Wallyworld, last year. Unfortunately the proportions of the 3 garments together are lost in the melange of darkness in the photo, but trust me when I say it all worked together. Tasteful silver hoop earrings. Stilettos are Holster by Carlos Santana, a knockoff of a Christian Louboutin style from 2006. Very comfortable, although I will admit that "comfort" IS a relative term when one refers to four inch heels. Makeup is Laura Gellar's Spackle (tinted under-makeup primer in bronze), CoverGirl Trublend minerals, Lashblast mascara on curled lashes and eyebrows, and Revlon Super Lustrous Shiny Sheers in Ruby Radiance.

I have long followed Allie's style blogs at http://www.mywardrobetoday.com/ and http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/. Back in June, I took this particular post very seriously: http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/2008/06/dressing-up-your-face.html. I grew up in the 80's with contour eyeshadow and blush. Lipgloss was so heavy and gooey that I once actually got a bug stuck in my gloss and didn't even know it until a boy pointed it to me--and yes, that particular memory can still make my clueless self writhe with humiliation. Now I have some crow's feet to go with my adult acne and I want my makeup to enhance my face and make me look younger. So all summer I have concentrated on perfecting my skin and slightly emphasizing my lips with a natural color or light gloss and my eyes with just lashcurling and mascara. I have had many, many compliments on my "fresh-faced" look, but now that it's September, I have been wondering how to update that for fall since basically the temperatures are still the same but suddenly we are expected to jump into tartan and tall leather boots. I believe I hit the nail on the head by reviving my sheer red lipstick and I also plan to try L'Oreal's Color Juice stick in Plum Crazy once the weather cools off a little more (and my wallet plumps up a little more, hehehe)

In Which I Pray I Have Escaped The Curse of The White Girl

A friend of mine remarked one day as we watched UAB students cross the street that one girl was very attractive except she had the Curse of The White Girl, i.e., a flat ass. And I have to admit, because I am ALL ABOUT the big issues (you know, Barack vs. the POW, does Palin look better WITH the glasses, is the glass actually half full or are those dregs filled with powdered glass that I am about to ingest, etc.), that it has worried me on a semi-regular basis ever since that I may be buttless and clueless about my lack of badonkadonk.

I wish I could worry about my lack of a STOMACH but since it is sitting here on my knees sneering at me that is fairly pointless.

(forcibly drags self back to point)

I was uninspired by my closet this AM. I knew I wanted to wear black pants; I have 2 pairs in regular rotation, but since I have lost a few (sadly few) pounds, my favorite pair were getting pretty loose and flappy so I picked the other pair and just grabbed a black shirt with ruched sides to go with it and the first pair of comfortable black shoes I saw to round off my whole Black Is Back look. Surprisingly, the cut of everything as a whole really worked, I felt, and I stalked around all day feeling as if I looked ten feet tall and bulletproof.

Sigh.

Now if I only WERE ten feet tall, and bulletproof, my life would be a lot easier, right now....

Zac may have managed to lop off my feet but shoes like these cannot be denied their rightful and righteous place in the sun.
the dress is Walmart but the shoes, oh, the shoes. Jessica Simpson, I saw them on another girl at work and I *HAD* to have them. So much so that when I couldn't find them online at all, let alone at a good price (i.e., not retail), I actually went to Belk's at the Galleria and paid full price for them and called it my Christmas present last year.
I've got my hair pulled back in a pathetic little ponytail because at this point, needing to be cut does not even BEGIN to describe it's incredibly sad state of affairs. It's like the National Deficit of hair. And it's on my head! I know, I know, you all wish you could be soooo lucky, like me....hahaha.



I think an electric blue and black dress calls for a nice raspberry pink lipstick, this is Jam by Max Factor, my CoverGirl TruBlend minerals powder foundation, and CoverGirl LashBlast mascara on curled lashes.

Too Milkmaid???

Now that I look closely at the pics of me in this shirt, I wonder if it's too....milkmaidy? While Mom was here, she took me to Walmart to finish up back to school shopping for the kids and somehow a top in my size wandered into the shopping cart (hehehe). But I have been loving the light on top, dark on the bottom-to-hopefully-hide-my-bottom look this summer. Probably because those five inch hidden platform stilettos from Aldo just rock so hard.
The first picture was my actual pose (and boy do I need a haircut!), the second is what I look like when I lecture Zac about his homework, and I figured it should be captured for posterity. By posterity!
Man, the mosquitoes are INSANE after all these storms and rain. I just went outside for two minutes to check on the kids and admire the huge ant they captured, and I was bitten twice. I HATE MOSQUITOES; unfortunately, my blood seems to be like a extremely fine Château d'Yquem for the dadgum things.

the paparazzi have deserted me

I mean, Zac is visiting my 'rents in VA, so pics are taken by someone very, very short: Bookey, who does not look any taller when I stare down at her from my five inch heeled vantage point.

Cream suede covered platform heels, Aldo via eBay and not the delicious yet horribly expensive store in the Galleria. Jeans, Lane Bryant, size 18, baggy, well-washed, and comfortable. Heat's getting to me, I didn't want to wear tight jeans. Loose empire waist cream shirt from WallyWorld, last summer. I had on cream and gold hoops that went with, beautifully, from the three dollar sale rack at WW, but I took them off at work and left them on my desk, where, hopefully, they will still be tomorrow. For years I never worried about leaving anything at my desk. In fact, sometimes on Fridays, I would gather up five pairs of shoes to bring home. But a few weeks ago my luck deserted me; either that, or one of the janitors has acquired a girlfriend with a size 10 foot, because my beautiful, glorious Nine West Slutty Librarian shoes that I left for one night, walked off and left me. There is only one way to grieve their passing and mourn in an appropriate manner....and that would be via amazon.com.

Breaking From My Usual Dress And Heels

and putting on a SKIRT and heels! hahaha, don't you wish you could come up with this type of originality (please, don't answer that)?!?

Skirt, WallyWorld, black tshirt, Lane Bryant LONG ago, I've had that shirt for years. Four inch black leather platform heels, Bebe via eBay. Black hair tie on wrist like a bracelet and my wedding set, no other jewelry. HOW does my chest continue to get so red when I apply SPF 50 to it twice a day? DAMN the Southern sun in July. It's almost 10PM and you could still cut the humidity outside with a knife and probably fry an egg on the sidewalk as well.

Bookey Style

Or, you could also call this, a Shoe Lover Is Born! She can actually walk all around the house in those four inch heels. I don't know WHERE she gets THAT from...hehehe!!!!

New Dress!

Dark brown peasant dress, Old Navy via eBay. Brown platform Jessica Simpson heels, four inches. New shell? earrings, wally, three bucks. Feeling like a million bucks throughout the trials and tribulations of the day? Priceless!

Monday and a New Program

to learn at work, GAH, my brain exploded at some point during the day, but I was too stressed to note the exact time.

White lantern sleeved shirt from the Old Navy website, spring 08, jeans, classic cut dark wash from Lane Bryant, fall 07, no jewelry except for my wedding set, mary janes are Jessica Simpson's knockoff of the iconic Chloe platforms from fall 06 (I think it was 06). Probably the most comfortable five inch heels ever, I had to walk to the strip mall next door to our complex for a gallon of drinking water this afternoon since my job has thoughtfully disconnected the water cooler in the kitchen "until the new refrigerator comes." "And when will that be?" I asked. "I don't...know..." was the reply, so I'm just going to assume--never. Dehydration! It adds to the Whole Work Experience!!!

Sunday Dress

I tried to wear nice pants to church once as a teenager. My mom sent me back into the house to change so that I would "show God I was happy to be a woman." You know, because he can't, like, see into your heart to know you feel, or anything....hehehe. My poor mom.





Some friends from work hosted a picnic today at a park near our office building. It's the South, it's July, heat and humidity are a given. I was taking the kids, hiking in a cooler, etc., and I wanted to be as cool and comfortable as possible. Also stylish. In fact, one of the women I met (in a fabulous royal blue maxidress from ardenb.!) confided that she had gone shopping on Saturday to buy a dress to wear. I wore a burgundy sundress from Old Navy that I bought on eBay. When it came in the mail, I felt it was a bit too lowcut and possibly too short for work, but it makes a GREAT dress to wear around the house, particularly if you, like me, feel that flashing your husband regularly helps stoke the marital fires. To make it work for a social occasion, I wore a supportive black bra (Cacique by Lane Bryant) up top and navy blue bike shorts underneath so I didn't have to worry about showing anything I shouldn't be showing.
No jewelry, I had planned to wear a pair of big, thin shell earrings, but forgot to put them in and didn't want to go back to the house as we were running late. Flipflops. No makeup except for Clinique Super City Block w/SPF. I put on lipstick before Zac took these pics, a new lipstick I bought at Wally last night after I saw the print ad in the new People magazine, this is Maybelline Mineral Power lipcolor in Terracotta. I really like it. Perfect for summer, it doesn't have a heavy waxy lipsticky feel, nor does it make my lips feel dry. Just the right amount of color.

Off With Her Head!

Zac was apparently possessed by the spirit of the mad queen when he shot this pic. The red silk shrug, sleeveless ivory blouse, and black pants are all Lane Bryant. New silver earrings, 3.50 from WallyWorld (blotchy shiny skin, EVIL MOTHER NATURE, my airbrush, whither art thou whilst I wither???) Black patent leather heels with cork sole & platform, Jessica Simpson via eBay. I got so many compliments in this outfit today, a lot of "you've lost weight" which to me is really just today's society's way of saying, You look good, because, the thinner, the better, right, Nicole Richie?

My left leg weighs more than Nicole Richie. WHEN she was 9 months pregnant.

Anyway, I believe the whole chiaroscuro light on top dark on the bottom aspect was very slimming and flattering. And I can't find my frickin' blotting papers anywhere...may have to buy more.

I want some of my new clothes to come so I can wear something that I haven't already worn a fulfillion times!!!

Finishing up the week

I was super casual this Friday. New (new to me, I believe this is gently used) Old Navy top via my most excellently beloved eBay with my dark wash Lane Bryant capri jeans and, gasp, FLIPFLOPS. I thought I had the Slutty Librarian Nine West heels under my desk at work but they were nowhere to be found when I got there (not in my car either and I am slightly afraid to search my room because.....WHAT IF THEY ARE GONE?
Would it be inappropriate to wear a black armband of mourning? I wonder what you have to do to declare a National Day of Shoe Grief and Tooth Gnashing?)
so I snuck around all day, flopping in my flippies, and giving thanks that Type A One and Type A Two, were both out--they are very nice ladies, but I do remain in a state of Continual Gratitude and Omnipresent Thanksgiving that I am on Type B One and Type B Two's team instead (THANK YOU, JESUS.)

To complete the Wonderfulness That Is Friday, I WON!!!!!!!! Yes, I won Thandie heels by Bebe on eBay (Bless you, eBay, and blessed be the fruit of your auctions, in the name of The Buyer, The Seller, and The Holy PayPal.)
I have lusted in my heart, verily, I have yearned for these shoes for going on twelve months now.
AND THEY ARE MINE!!!!!!!!MINEMINEMINEMINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (spasms of unholy gleefulness and joy, hallelujah!)
That is a six inch heel, there, ladies: SIX. INCHES. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is The Bank ready for this???

New BR dress!

My new Banana Republic dress off eBay. new smoky quartz necklace from the Zales outlet with extra Fourth of July coupon. gold Bebe platform heels (five inches).
sorry about the crap photo, my camera battery was dying! Rescitating now on the recharger.

I bought a box of haircolor on my WallyWorld shopping spree Fourth of July morning. Feria Iced Mocha Light Iridescent Brown. I hope it isn't too light and doesn't make my skin look freaky (technical term). I also got a couple of new pair of earrings off the sale rack so look for those in upcoming pictures.
I planned on doing my hair tonight, but I have just emptied the house of half the neighborhood and I haven't eaten dinner yet, so probably not.

Can't Wait Until I Get Older(er) To Wear Purple

Shirt, Lane Bryant, from eons ago; jeans, Lane Bryant, fall 07. BCBG Girls peeptoe platforms via eBay. Bookey's dress is Mary-Kate & Ashley from Walmart, summer 08, her butterfly sandals were just purchased at Payless' BOGO sale. I am already shopping with an eye on back to school!

L'Oreal Wrinkle De-Crease Eye Illuminator Review

This is my third eye cream so far this year, and my hands down favorite, as well. I began the year with Neutrogena Radiance Boost Eye Cream, and I was moderately pleased with the brightening effects but felt it didn't do much for my crow's feet. As my tube began running out, I won an eBay auction for a tube of Atache C Vital eye contour gel cream because I like things with vitamin C in them, that ingredient seems to work pretty well on my skin, but a gel cream is, again, just a little too light for the almost-36-year-old skin around my eyes. Also, this stuff promised to do everything but my laundry and dry-cleaning, but I didn't feel it was even as effective as the Neutrogena, despite the fact that it supposedly retailed for about 35.00. Meh, bleah, done, done, on to the next one (I wonder what kind of eye cream Dave Grohl uses???)
After reading one of Tootsie Farklepants' hilarious Friday Tutorials where she recommended L'Oreal DeCrease skin cream, I decided to pluck a box of L'Oreal Paris Wrinkle De-Crease Collagen Filler Eye Illuminator Targeted Eye Treatment with Collagen Bio-Spheres & Chromatic Micro-Particles off the shelf, because, really, what is the point of a fifteen word product title if you can't throw in some chromatic micro-particles?
The box, or, rather, the cream inside, vowed it "Fills wrinkles and minimizes dark circles."
I love this stuff. It has a nice thick feel & consistency, but is readily absorbed into my skin, and I feel that it does work for brightening dark circles, wrinkling, AND puffiness.

Completely irrelevant side note: am I the only one who is hearing "When I grow up I want to have boobies" on the new Pussycat Dolls song? I was actually disappointed when I googled the lyrics and the words are actually "When I grow up I want to have groupies." Hmm. As a kid with no boobs and a teenager with small ones, I definitely wanted boobies a lot more than groupies. Who wants some weird stalker type hanging around when you can heft some double D's instead????

so slooooowly

I am making my way back to the surface after being submerged in the muck of overtime....here are Tuesday's & Wednesday's outfits. Tuesday, print dress from Walmart, big silver hoop earrings same, emerald cut topaz ring from the Zales outlet a few years ago when David failed me in a rather spectacular way on Mother's Day. "Memories....misty watercolored memories...." yeah right. Wednesday I worked a half day and wanted something very casual and comfortable. Pink gauze peasant shirt from Lane Bryant, purchased in spring of 2003 when I was extremely pregnant with my daughter, darkwash capris, also Lane Bryant, spring 08. Gold wedges, a gift from my friend Patti, who found them on sale, in my size, at a boutique on 280.

There has been an upswing in our financial situation and I hope to have some new dresses, shoes, and even jewelry to debut in the next couple of weeks!

Truth In Advertising

My tshirt reads: Dangerous Kitty.

Also, it's amazing how much your stomach really does not move even though you could swear you were pulling it straight into your spine.

Old Navy skirt & Nine West Decors (aka Slutty Librarian) heels. Body by McDonald's.

Cover Girl TruBlend minerals foundation review

About 2 years I went to the local Sephora for a bridal makeover and they used Bare Escentuals on me. I liked it but have never made it enough of a priority (100+ dollars for foundation, brushes, et al) to go back and invest. So when Cover Girl began advertising it's new pressed mineral foundation for less than ten dollars, and I somehow forgot my makeup one day last week, I ran straight to the CVS in the strip mall next to my job and bought shade 2, creamy natural. Because I am nothing if not creamy. And natural. First I tried it with my retractable Sephora powder brush and achieved very light coverage that took away the shine from my Clinique Super City Block. Then I tried the tiny brush that came with the compact and from the very atoms of the microfine minerals, Olivia Newton-John's voice rose up and sang, "Have to believe we are maaaaagic, Nothing can stand in our way" and I watched in amazement as this laughably tiny brush and drugstore foundation provided flawless coverage that looked like my real skin.
I LOVE this stuff. PERFECT for my shiny summertime.

Time For A Cool Change

I felt extremely Sassy-fied in this outfit. Dark wash jeans, Lane Bryant, jewel necked shirt, also LB, platform metallic croc print heels, Barb by Jessica Simpson. Oversized silver hoops, World de Wallay. Daughter, by the grace of God.

My Wrap Dress is BAAAAACK!!!

Diane von Furstenburg herself could not BE more excited. Keep in mind, I had made at least two fairly exhaustive searches of my cesspool, I mean, bedroom, to no avail, and I was getting tired of wearing my other LBD all the time. I wear dresses so often I want to be able to rotate them! Last night I decided to neaten up My Wall O' Shoes (I have lined up about ninety-eleven pairs against the wall so I can get to the bathroom in the middle of the night without breaking a hip, hehehe) and in the corner was a blue plastic milk crate that Bookey had thoughtfully and carefully filled with....A LOT OF CLOTHES. Like the pink pants that go to her flowered top that are actually pajamas but I pass off as a matching outfit for daytime. And, voila, my wrap dress. I thought perhaps it had run away to audition for the new season of Crock of Love and was rehearsing it's updated, heavyhanded, eyeliner techniques and discussing the best new wrinkle creams.

Black wrap dress from World de Wallay, black suede platform heels, "Holster", by Carlos Santana, black necklace from Macy's at the Galleria mall, fall 07.

Viva La Monday!

Wednesday

I wore a pair of old jeans, black flipflops, and an old Nike "Diva" tshirt to the hospital. No makeup, hair pulled straight back in a ponytail. A veritable VISION, that was me.

TEEriffic Tuesday (Isn't It????haha)

Dear Fadkog,

As if anyone is looking at your feet. Their gazes have stopped at the Mane of Hotness and, should they have the Fortitude to drop further, were Mazed by your Rack. Nice try, though.

MQ,

You know, looking at that picture, she is very Long, isn't she? Don't know where she gets that from...hehehe.

Today I planned to wear my black dress, zebra ponyhair Nine West heels, and red lipstick. Left my heels under the desk at work so what you see on my tootsies are my go-to black Payless flats for walking the 2 blocks to & from work. Lipstick started off bright Revlon pink and then I layered a bright light red lipstick over it. Black liner under eyes smoked with dark green eyeshadow from Almay. No mascara, I forgot my eyelash curler, and no blush, my face is so red from the daily sun increase of the season.

Monday Means A Dress & Heels

Dress bought last weekend at World de Wallay for nineteen dollars and change. Shoes are...crap can't remember and already put them away. I know I got them off Amazon for less than 30 bucks.
Bookey is now anxious to be included in all pictures and that is the picture she colored for me while I was at work today.
I wrote a long post at work today about some new makeup I tried since I forgot mine this AM but dishes await/loom/leech my blogtime/should wash their damn selves.