New Clothes, November 2009

I've been relying on the same 2 pairs of black pants and 2 pairs of darkwash jeans since....I'd have to check my blog history over at SAHMGQI but I believe at least 2 years.

Dammit. Now that is Driving Miss Crazy. Back in a sec. DAMN. Try November 2005. These pants are FOUR. YEARS. OLD. That is ninety seven in pant years.

So, after I got my 401K check and performed obligatory mature adult responsible purchases like catching up on the car payments, filling the fuel oil tank so we have heat, and buying warm clothes for Lynda, I trolled the Lane Bryant website and discovered their new Icon line. Saw a model in a royal purple empire waist top that my heart skip a beat (either that or I have had too many breathing treatments today. albuterol may be the only reason I am awake...well, that, and YOU, lovely blogreader--your butt is positively miniscule in those pants!) Called my local LB and they are the only store in Bama that carries the Icon line: one purple top in my size left. I put it on hold Thursday and finally made it there this afternoon (life. it's always getting in the way of my shopping.)



Although Purple Top did not make the cut, I did carry home a Bag of Deliciousness stuffed with new jeans that caused me to look in the three way mirror and cry, "My ass is FANTASTIC in these!" And I forced the reluctant staff to get down the mannequin wearing this skirt--hmm. LB does not wish to share their image with me, apparently. Here's the link: or not. Apparently they do not wish to share the link, either. Heh. It is the Icon ruffled ponte knit skirt, a pencil skirt with an asymmetrical ruffle that isn't really evident in the pic of me above. Apparently Zac is not the heir to the Irving Penn throne. As I was checking out with said skirt, an amazing necklace, and a pair of jeans that I may sleep with under my pillow tonight, the salesperson ringing me up confided that she had hidden the size 14 skirt on the mannequin on purpose so no one would buy it. She reckoned without my resolve and retail knowledge!

More pics tomorrow; I will introduce you to my Russian mail order bride, I mean, my blissful new pair of jeans.

We Will Now Pause

For a brief (well, okay, possibly PROLONGED) period of mourning that I saw these and missed the chance to buy them. Alice & Olivia jeweled boots, still on the Payless website, but sadly unavailable for purchase. Yes, taunt me with your unattainable loveliness, my sweets, while I yearn for your luscious black soles of Stompiness...these would have gone with every little black dress in my closet. AND my jeans (buries face in handkerchief for a storm of weeping). In fact I might have slept in them. We'll never know. I definitely would have propped them stylishly on my bedside table to admire if wakeful in the night.

Product Review for Benefit's Hello, Flawless!

I LUUUURRRRVE this!

Have had a promo pullout of the product laying on my desk for months (I do not exaggerate. SINCE. APRIL.) and one of my friends wandered by, picked it up, and said, "Oh! My girlfriend works there!" So, Friday night after work while Bookey was at cheer practice, I went over to Belk's in The Summit (also known as The Very Fancy Mall Where Rich People Shop And Therefore I Do Not) and visited the lovely and talented Brooke at the Benefit counter. I was interested in concealer and foundation as my weakness is always my skin. Between the breakouts and the rosacea, I often wish I could put a bag over my head in the mornings. And the afternoons. And most definitely the evenings. I've been using CoverGirl's TruMineral powder foundation and it is very good for a drugstore product. But Benefit's Hello, Flawless! has definitely taken coverage with a very natural look to the next level. In fact I have already had several people ask me if I am using new makeup because my face looks so good! Also, how can you resist a color called Me, Vain? Champagne~answer, I did not even try.

And I am *GLAD* that I did not! It has been soSoSO long since I have bought makeup anywhere other than a drugstore. Also, they have a brow product that looks good and a brow event coming up where you get your brows shaped and they teach you how to use the product. This may produce a more finished look then me simply swiping an almost dried out mascara brush over my brows, so I am signed up for that and greatly looking forward to it.

So, if there's a nice department store in your area, see if they have a Benefit counter. The products are GREAT and the counter people are well trained in what will suit your needs. I did not feel pressured at all and in fact though I tried several products, only bought this one because I felt it was the very best of all of them. Brooke gave me several samples & the fall catalog and I look forward to going back and treating myself to something new and extremely effective on a hopefully regular basis.

Product Review: Revlon ColorStay Lipliner in Red

I was recently seduced by the shiny print ad for Revlon's latest Heck-No-This-Stuff-Will-Never-Ever-EVER-Wear-Off, Would We Lie To You? product: ColorStay Ultimate Lipcolor. When Andie MacDowell smiles at me in bright red lipgloss, I lose my ability to say no. Plus the lipcolor came packaged with a lipliner. How could I resist? (answer: by checking my bank account balance, but anyway)

I LUUUURRRRVE me some red lipstick. Especially with my red hair. A look I rocked back in high school, but the past 2-3 years I have not been able to find a drugstore red that I really liked (I'm sure I'd be able to find one at the mall for roughly the same as my power bill, but I LIKE ELECTRICITY, TOO!). So I was expecting another too dark, too bright, too something that I would wear once and then it would fall into the Great Caboodle Crevasse with its brethren, the Forlorn and Unworn.

But no! If I line my lips and then fill in with the liner, it is muy perfecto. Don't even need the lipgloss. Five stars. And it really isn't that drying, and really does last nicely. Definitely five stars.

Heatwave

We had a cool and rainy spring here in Birmingham, Alabama. In fact, for the first year that I can recall, summer started pretty much on the calendar day marked as the first day of summer. The heat index has pretty much topped 100 degrees every day ever since.

So what does this mean for a sweaty and faltering fashionista like myself?

First of all, I am not torturing my feet with heels every day. Payless had a BOGO sale (I subscribe to their emails, you can sign up at their website of payless.com) and I bought Bookey a new pair of sandals and a pair for myself. A cute and strappy black patent leather pair, completely flat. Very easy to walk back & forth to work in as well as up and down the stairs. Truth be told, I haven't had the money to buy shoes in lo, these many months, and I'm not as enthusiatic about wearing the same stilettos over and over again. Okay, so it's thirty pairs I'm rotating, but it still feels like the same old, same old, to me.

WallyWorld has had some VERY cute dresses and I bought an emerald green jersey knit dress and an electric blue empire waist, both of these are making an appearance weekly. I LOVE COLOR! Also, I realized I could wear an LBD every single day of the week...including weekends...without repeating a dress.

I've been skinning my hair back into a dreadful ponytail sprig, REALLY need a cut. Wearing huge silver earrings. And pretty much no makeup, just sunscreen and maybe some mineral powder foundation, lipgloss, and mascara, that's as far as I'm going with makeup in this heat and humidity.

So: flats. Jersey dresses that don't wrinkle. Ponytail & huge earrings. That's me, this summer. And, ladies? Please do keep in mind that you want to keep your look proportionate. If my earrings are down to my shoulders, it has to be a very plain top or dress. No competing hair or necklace. Keep your height and your overall look balanced. I am nearly six feet tall and rarely find an accessory that I consider too dramatic. But if it's big, detailed earrings, let them shine. Check yourself in a full length mirror before you leave the house to make sure everything works. It takes less than thirty seconds and it's the last thing I do when leaving the house every morning.

L'Oreal EverPure Review

I'm back from the dead!

And my hair is so fried from constantly redying it red that it feels and, WORSE, looks dead. Then I found a box of L'Oreal EverPure shampoo, conditioner, and hair masque in my bathroom cupboard. I bought it back around Xmas but until I ran out of Pantene Red shampoo, I had completely forgotten about it. Now, this stuff is not going to take the place of hieing yourself to the local salon for a heated deep conditioning treatment, but it will keep you going until you can. I love the shampoo, lots & lots of silky foamy suds; the conditioner smells of rosemary (like Aveda, wonder what marketing genius came up with THAT idea???); and the masque genuinely rehydrates. I haven't tried the other products from the line like the UV protect spray and the leave in conditioner, but if I was at the store with money to buy I would definitely pick them up based on my positive experience.

I have read over and over again that the condition of your hair is something that people really notice about your appearance. Next time you are out, do a little people watching and look at the mom's hair, then their kids'. Kids hair is shiny. Adult hair usually looks dry and damaged, especially those pesky ends. And believe me, stand me next to my daughter and I am juuuust as guilty. So I have really been piling on the (Garnier Fructis Smoothing) leave in conditioner and using the L'Oreal products in an effort to reconstruct my hair.

Then I can move to fixing the rest of myself! A little Botox and plastic surgery, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Sadlike Sniffling

I really wish I was back online at home so I could blog regularly here with my daily picture. This will happen again!!! (Cue swelling music in the background of "SOOOOMEDAY")

Reading the Bohemian Manifesto right now by Laren Stover, who also authored The Bombshell Manual of Style. I highly recommend both to stimulate the creative juices. Don't be afraid to pair things from your closet that you never considered would go together. On Monday I paired a graphic black and white floral dress whose pattern has touches of red with my zebra peep toe Nine West platforms. I knew I wanted to wear that dress (for me, a dress and heels is the easiest ensemble possible on those What-The-Hell-Am-I-Gonna-Wear days) and the heels were still lying about from the previous week. Although the combination would never have ocurred to me, when I saw the heels, I picked them up and put them against the dress and it worked! This combo garnered much admiration and several spontaneous compliments when I wore it to work. And that always brightens a girl's day.

Target Love Letter

Nothing says Blog Entry like Target's last Go International guest designer on clearance! This trench was a completely unexpected lagniappe on my last visit to the store, but I still yearn for the daffodil yellow dramatically collared trench that I saw online that has VANISHED from their website.

Really, Who DOESN'T

love a good mascara review? I just finished up a tube of LashBlast by Cover Girl--big orange tube, SO easy to find at the bottom of your purse. (Even if your purse may well detain the unindentified remains of Jimmy Hoffa as I firmly believe mine may, I can think of no other realistic explanation of why the thing is so dang heavy--and count not the hardbacked books therein lest I slay thee with a glance.) (FYI, when there isn't enough mascara left in the tube to give me the drag queen eyelashes I crave, I save it and use it to comb my eyebrows!)

So I bought Maybelline's latest offering, Lash Stiletto, because it was shiny and referenced shoes! Let no one say I am not a discriminating retail shopper (am I the only one wandering along the aisles singing along to the Grateful Dead and wondering how much more I am spending per minute because they are playing music that I can sing along to?) The good news is, this stuff totally works and the freaky looking brush is killer. It's got a beat AND you can dance to it! It's no L'Oreal Voluminous (my own personal Holy Grail of Mascaras) but it's close enough to go L'OV's family reunion and eat burgers with the fam. Totally worth that 8.99 plus tax or whatever those robbers closely positioned by the highway, aka CVS, charged me.

I Don't Want To Grow Up

and yet, these two short(er than me) people running round heah seem to think that just because I pushed them out of my hooha at great personal expense, I should also provide three meals a day, shelter, transpo, even electricity.

The nerve.

And that is why I did not buy the Coach Francine IN WHITE (TDF. winter white and summer white all wrapped up in one big beautiful amazing package) today even though I could have probably squeezed the budget until its stone wept blood and then had my very own Francine instead of just the gorgeous print ad I've had taped in my cubicle since forever.

Oh, Child Support, where art thou, Child Support? Meet me out on the balcony and let's remember to forget all knives, deadly poisons, and anything else that might prevent us from spending a long and happy life together.

To Vary The Monotony of The Dress

I bring you The PANTS. these are getting so baggy, I need a new pair of black pants BADLY. those are new red JSimps on the tootsies, and that Dangerous Kitty emblazoned across my lady lumps? Truth. In. Advertising!

I did locate the Maddens, whatever possessed the delivery guy to leave them inside another box that was already sitting on my porch, I do not know. So, tomorrow will definitely see another trusty LBD and THE SWOONY SWOONY SHOOOOOES.....gotta have something to look forward to, right?

Holy Crap I'm FINALLY BACK!!!

And, lest you doubt that I have been working the dress/heels/fab bag combo, here is photographic (if not photogenic) proof, that I most certainly have been.

BCBG Girls four inch black patent & suede platforms, courtesy of eBay (long ago).

my new and intensely beloved cobalt blue patent leather Maxx New York leopard print lined bag, also off eBay--this baby retailed for 199.00 and I won the auction at around sixty bucks. this bag is worth every. single. penny.

And finally here is Yours Truly and PLEASE (really. I beg of you.) ignore the mess. Welcome to your first glimpse of The Tin Can of Freedom, and Martha, dammit, you did not show up AGAIN today. I didn't wear any makeup today, other than some translucent powder, and no jewelry--was up all night smooochy with new cell phone.


I ordered these fantastic and fantasmagorically priced (39.99 w/free s&h)Steve Maddens, LOLLOA Blush
According to the email I recieved from the SM website, they were delivered today at 6:34PM, however, a close inspection of my mailbox, front porch, and every single blade of grass in the yard has revealed no shoe box package. Hmmph.