An Abject, Object Lesson

Stay at home momhood takes its toll on your fashion senses. Before long you are watching all day Law & Order marathons and forgetting to change the channel to Project Runway. And you haven't bid on any shoes on eBay in....(tries to count that high-fails).

That's just me, you say? Suuuure it is. Have you not been to Walmart lately? Because it is a retina searing, nausea inducing outing, oh yes it is.

Today I finished filling out a job application for the Middle Tennesee Electrical Cooperative. When I picked up the app, I had a severe case of bedhead & had not yet washed my face that day. The ladies of the MTEC, on the other hand, appeared to have just been released from their Barbie box and fresh from the hands of a dental bleaching specialist, as well. I was glad that I had put on a bra. Unfortunately that was the sum total of my grooming.

This business of waking up with him every morning and being told that I am beautiful & amazing is taking a heavy toll on my personal grooming standards, let me tell you. (A toll I am more than happy to pay!)

So I vowed that when I dropped my application off, I would be STUNNING. Or at least have brushed my hair, washed my face, applied a modicum of makeup, and wearing earrings (this always passes for stunning with me). I slid into one of my oldest and most comfortable little black dresses--I bought this back when I was still married! A pair of Jessica Simpson platforms that again, were purchased back during my marriage. The girls greeted me with big smiles of approval. I had to run into Walmart to pick up a few necessary supplies (okay, honey bbq sauce, copy paper, & toilet paper. NOW STOP WITH THE THUMB SCREWS!!!) I received 2 compliments on my shoes and one on my dress. Most people looked me in the eye & smiled. This is not the same response I get when I have on cutoffs & flipflops.

On the other hand, I never limp out to the parking lot when I wear flipflops, either....hehehe.

Could I BE Any More Neglectful of This Blog????!!!!

I mean honestly. Most likely the answer would be NO. I wish I had something fabulous to share with you, but the truth is I have been wearing flipflops and bike shorts and going barefaced seven days out of seven. I haven't discovered any fabulous new makeup or facial care products. I tried L'Oreal's new redness correction lotion--it turned my face green. GREEN I TELL YOU. All I needed was a pot of water dumped over my head so I could've screamed, I'm meeeelllltttiinngggg.


Which really there is no need for the pot of water as it is summer in the South and I am melting in the heat & humidity. So my fashion tip of the day is pretty much, Stay inside. Also, refrain from giving birth & growing older. You'll stay hotter that way. Hotter in a good way, in a "my thighs don't rub together & I don't have crowsfeet!" kind of way, not hotter in an "oh my God it's the heat AND the humidity" kind of way.